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29 December 2006 @ 09:58 pm
fic: catalyst (going through the motions)  
This fic totally chewed me up and spit me out, and ended up better than I originally planned. HOORAY for spur of the moment ending changes!


Title: Catalyst (Going Through The Motions)
Pairing: Jon/Stephen/Paul and variations thereof. Jon/Others.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: "You want to give Stephen an orgy for his birthday?"
Notes: Apparently, I have a thing for Paul being a smug, manipulative bastard. This started out as Stephen being gangbanged by the whole cast, and turned into this. What a motherfucking transformation, for real.
Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).

Any mention of 'The Daily Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', any associated entites, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.






*
I don’t know about you
But I am hellbent, I know what it is that I must do
Close your eyes when we kiss
‘Cause I’m prepared to set myself on fire for this
*




Jon flips open his cell phone, and groans at the number displayed on the caller ID.

It's not that he dislikes Paul. It really isn't. He's a nice enough guy, and he is Stephen's best friend. They've only had a handful of conversations (and one make out session that ended with a hot, fast handjob against his apartment door, but Jon isn't getting into semantics) and yeah, Paul is a fine individual. But Jesus, underneath all of the warm fuzzy feelings that Stephen says that he emanates, he can be an intimidating bastard.

He can vaguely remember a talk that they once had about Stephen, and Jon learned right then and there that smugness is the one emotion that Paul can display loud and fucking clear almost without trying.

They've known each other so fucking long, but it's not like Jon just met Stephen. Jon thinks that he just might know a thing or two about Stephen that Paul doesn't.

("You mean like the face that he makes just as he's about to come?" Paul asks him, his face coming closer and closer and Jon has to press his palms flat against his door as he tries not to make a run for it. "Been there, done that. Give me another one."

Jon didn't even think to move when Paul's lips landed on his. He just thought it would be easier to take it and move on. And when he felt Paul's fingers start to undo the buckle of his belt, the hard, concentrated look in his eyes kept him grounded once again.
)

"Yeah?" he answers, his ear pressed to the receiver of his phone and his eyes rolling. There's a brief moment where he thinks of what Paul could possibly be calling him for. It might be something serious. Or it might not, and he could hang up right then and there.

"Hey, Jon. I want you to do something for me."

Well, this isn't daunting at all. Not one bit. Except it is.

"Yeah?" He can't think to say anything else. He can feel Paul's smile through the fucking airwaves; he can taste the smugness in the air. Wow, he hates this guys more than he thought he did.

"I need you to help me with this birthday present I'm putting together for Stephen," Paul explains, a noncommital tone to his voice, like it's no big deal.

This could possibly mean anything. A couple answers run through his mind (most notably: no, fuck off, get someone else to do it, you motherfucker), but the only thing he can think to say is, "Yeah?"

Paul gives a smirk on the other end of the line, and holy shit, Jon can fucking feel it.

"You're certainly verbose tonight".

"Fuck off."

"At least that's something different." There's a pause, and Paul begins his question tentatively, as if he's trying to find the best way to word it (This can not be good).

"So, uh. You know the members of The Daily Show cast pretty well, right?"

"Well, I should," Jon answers, the tone of his voice flat. "I am their employer, after all."

"Yeah," Paul says, "But I mean, do you really know them? Like, do you talk to any of them outside of work and stuff? Do you know what goes on in their lives?"

Jon pauses for a long moment before responding. "What does any of this have to do with a present for Stephen?"

"I has everything to do with it, just trust me."

If it weren't for the fact that Jon was desperately curious to find out where this was going to lead to, he would have hung up right then. But Jon was transfixed. "We know each other fairly well. Sometimes Jason and Ed and I get drinks after the show, and there are other times when I talk with Demetri after a lot of his segments. Why?"

There's a soft sound at the other end of the line, something that sounds like a laugh. "It's part of my gift idea."

"You want to give him the cast of the show?"

"Well, in a manner of speaking."

Another long pause. It doesn't take long for Jon to figure out exactly where this is going, but he's so speechless that he has no clue what to say other than to state the obvious. "You want to give Stephen an orgy for his birthday?"

There's another sound, and yeah, this time it's definitely a laugh. "What can I say?" Paul answers, his tone unable to be describe as anything other than amused. "The kid needs to have some fun in his life. He's been obsessed with the show for the year that it's been on. He needs a break; some time to unwind and let go. And he always talks about you guys."

Jon's eyes widen. "He does?"

Yeah, this is going to be awkward. He curls his fingers into a loose fist around the sheets of his bed. So, of course Stephen and Paul were going to be talking about these things together. They were best friends (and more, judging by the conversations Jon has had with Stephen. He tries to keep the topics as far from Paul as possible, but there are times when Stephen can't help himself and Jon has to suck his cock just to shut him up).

Jon doesn't have to be there to know that Paul is most likely smiling like the Cheshire Cat at this moment. There's almost a grin flying through the waves between them as he quips,

"You should hear some of the things he says about you."

Jon gulps, his face turning hot. He doesn't say a word.

"You wanna hear some of it?"

He can feel his throat turning red, flashes of heat spreading. This isn't going to end well at all.

All he hears is "come over and we'll go over it", and soon, he's like Yeah, sure, okay.

He flips the cell phone shut and decides that he hates Paul.


*


Of course, this doesn't last long. Because really, Jon likes Paul.

And to be honest, this idea sounds good. It at least sounds like it might work.

Stephen would be thrilled with the opportunity to have the entire cast fuck him senseless, and hey, it saves him from getting Stephen another stupid blue tie again for his birthday.

"This could actually kind of work," Jon smiles at Paul, looking at him from across Paul's couch and resting his hand on the middle cushion. (It has inched closer, minute by minute, and it's almost touching Paul's. It would probably startle him just a little bit if it wasn't the farthest thing from his mind)

"I've actually had the idea for a while now," Paul admits, and Jon can just barely make out the faint streaks of pink that develop on his cheeks, but he notices it anyway.

Paul's smile. Jesus. He remembers when they first met, and Paul always had a fucking smile on his face. It had just the right mix of cockiness, sarcasm and still managed to seem genuine.

Jon had no idea how he did it.

He's so transfixed, that before he realizes that it just might not be such a good idea, his hand is being brought to Paul's face, tracing out the lines of that fucking smile. His fingertips seek out where his lips curve upward, and wow, he has no clue what the hell he's doing.

Paul isn't smiling anymore, though. His eyes have gone dark and he's staring, and Jon thinks that yeah, maybe he's in trouble here.

"You're hard, you know?" Paul suddenly says, his hands traveling up Jon's thighs, and it actually seems pretty obvious at the moment. He doesn't know why the fuck he didn't notice it before.

Jon lets out a breath between his parted lips, and he seems to only notice now that his heart is racing just the slightest bit, and it jumps when Paul palms his crotch, his fingers groping at the fabric of his jeans.

"Fuck" Jon breathes, and his eyes flutter shut when he feels Paul unfastening the buttons on his pants, and slips his hand under the waistband, gripping his cock and pulling in a swift stroke.

Jon's hips jerk involuntarily, and Paul's fingers are hot and tight around him; he's surprised that he didn't come as soon as he was touched. Jon's neck arches and Paul's lips find the skin there, his tongue snaking out to lick circles up to his earlobe and pulling back toward his collarbone, nipping at it with his teeth.

And then, he's not sure why or how (why, fuck) but suddenly he's stiffening, and there's a roadblock in his mind, firm and slapping him right in the face. This is supposed to be for Stephen. Fuck.

"Stop," he says insistently, catching Paul by the wrist and halting his movements. His hips jump a little, his cock throbs and shit, he doesn't fucking want to stop.

"Stop," he says, but Paul keeps going because Jon whines it and his hips keep pumping, keeps fucking Paul's hand in consistent motions. Jon's eyes open and Paul is staring right at him, and a moan escapes his mouth and suddenly Paul is rubbing himself shamelessly with his palm, and he's smiling.

"Stephen says that you're like this," he says, his voice hard, and Jon gives a little gulp and makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. "You fight it off at first, but then you give up. And then you beg for it," he concludes this thought by biting the skin on Jon's neck, eliciting a yelp.

"Fuck you" Jon says, his thighs quivering as Paul's wrist twists just a little to the right, and he's unzipping his own pants and taking out his cock, jerking to a steady rhythm.

"Yeah, maybe."

Jon comes hard, his eyelids half-open and his lips parted. Paul keeps stroking, his eyes sliding shut, and Jon reaches up, brushes his hand out of the way and brings him off, his release most likely staining the couch.

"Shit," Paul says, because of Jon's actions and the ruining of his sofa.

"That's what you get."

"Oh well, it's not my couch anyway. I got it from Stephen."

"That's kind of ironic," Jon smiles half-heartedly, wiping his hand on his shirt. "I would have thought it would be ruined earlier, in that case."

"We were usually more careful." Paul's eyes darkened significantly. "So, are you into the idea, then?"

Jon thought, pulling his pants up over his hips. "It could possibly work. I'll try, at least. It'll be easy to get Jason to do it; he'll fuck anything with a pulse, if that. Demetri and Ed will be harder, but I did catch them making out in the back one time."

"Jesus, is there anyone on your cast that isn't fucking?"

"Why do you think I hired them?"

Paul stared. Jon raised an eyebrow.

"Oh."


*

Just as he thought, Jason agreed right away.

Jon was less prepared for the events that happened after he presented the invitation, and now he's on his back on Jason's bed and fingers are undoing his pants feverishly. Jason is naked and his tongue is caught between his lips in concentration, and he looks up with a smirk.

"Jesus" Jon breaths through his mouth, and Jason moves from between his legs to kiss him firmly, his teeth dragging against Jon's bottom lip.

"Nah. Close, though."

It's then that Jon realizes that he must have a thing for smug bastards, but he doesn't even try to stop Jason this time. He just runs a hand across Jason's hair, his thumb stroking his cheek in encouragement as he gets his cock out, running his tongue flat along the head. Jon groans, and Jason's lips stretch, wet and pink, to accommodate him as his hips jump.

"You know," Jon says, "This isn't exactly how this was supposed to turn out."

Not that he was complaining. Jason was fucking good at this, but there was the nagging feeling that this was all a part of some cunning plan that he was unaware of, and he could practically feel Paul around the room, laughing at him. It didn't look like Jason planned on stopping anytime soon.

"Just consider this a thank you ahead of time," Jason reasons with him, using a finger to trail along the underside of Jon's length and following it with his tongue.

On one hand, this could be a very good thing. It's for a good cause, at least. To give Stephen a birthday present that he'll remember for quite awhile. Something he can't wear or return to the store the next day. Something that requires a bit of thought and planning, and Jon gets plenty of things out of it. On the other hand, it was a pretty extreme thing to do. Not to mention the fact that he was basically whoring himself out to these people who he had to face every day.

But then wow, Jon has forgotten just how good Jason was; his tongue swirls along the skin. His mouth is wrapped around him, bobbing slowly up and down and his hand is moving in a jerky rhythm around the base of Jon's cock. Jason's eyes are partially shielded by pieces of hair that fall against his forehead, Jon brushes them away gently and Jason looks up at him, his mouth still wrapped around his cock and Jon almost loses it right there and then.

"Ungh, Fuck," Jon moans, his leg shaking as he lets go, and his eyes flutter shut as he sees

Jason's cheeks hollowing, trying to catch every single drop. "Oh God."

"You're telling me," Jason agrees, coughing a little. He reaches down and fists his own cock, stroking fast while leaning back on his hand for support. Jon's thoughts are a bit scattered from the force of his climax, but he still has enough mind left to help Jason along, grabbing a hold of his hips and forcing them harder to Jason's hand until he comes, ribbons of it falling along the skin of his stomach.

Jon reaches for a towel that was laying next to the bed and wipes himself off, his eyes still on Jason, who is still panting above him, halfway slumped over. "You do know that this is severely fucked up, right?"

"I didn't see you complaining," Jason said, still a bit breathless. He leans in a gives Jon a kiss at the side of his jaw before falling into place next to him, his head hitting the pillow with a slight thump.




*

"You know, that really wasn't how it was supposed to go."

"That's how it went for us."

"Well yeah, but that's different. I knew that you would let me touch you even before you came over."

". . . What?"

Paul gave a little laugh. "You and Stephen aren't as different as you would think. Stephen always told me that you could never resist anyone who would touch your cock for you."

"So Stephen assumes that I'm easy?"

"You weren't exactly pushing Jason away, like you told me."

Jon rolled his eyes, shifting on the covers of Paul's bed. "Jason is persistent. Even more so than you are."

"No one is more persistent than I am," Paul says, and he demonstrates by reaching across the headboard of the bed, grabbing a hold of Jon's shoulders and pushing forward, pinning him to the bed and climbing on top of him. And they just stay that way, until Paul gets closer. Jon is sure that he can see every single detail in his face, pick out every single eyelash set in his eyes, and he's sure that this is trouble.

Paul's eyes are roaming, and Jon can't seem to read what he's going to do or exactly what he's thinking. And then they soften, his tongue darts out to lick his lips.

"Hi."

Jon blinks. "Hey."

There's a pause, and Paul kind of leans in, almost like he's going to kiss Jon, but then he stops.

He sighs and gets off, sitting back and leaning against the headboard, his legs crossed at the ankles. "So. Demetri's next, right?"

Jon takes a deep breath, sits up and faces Paul, his fingers reaching to scratch at the back of his head. "Yeah. Demetri's next."

"Just remember that if you fuck him before you give him to Stephen, it's kind of like re-gifting. Which is rude."

"What, you've never heard of test driving a gift before you buy it?" Jon argues, shifting closer.

Paul raises an eyebrow, and Jon gets closer.

Their knees are touching now. Jon licks his lips and takes a breath, leaning close and kissing Paul, sweeping his tongue inside his mouth and keeping his eyes open. He feels Paul's hand at the back of his neck, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, and before long they pull apart, and Paul's eyes hold his gaze for seconds after.

"What are you thinking about?"

Jon looks down at him (apparently, he was a lot more eager than he originally thought, because he's on top of Paul, his erection digging against Paul's hip). Jon's hand rests on his thigh, and it moves upward. "I want to suck your cock".

Paul laughs quietly (Jon fucking wishes that he would stop doing that) and lurches forward, his teeth pulling on Jon's bottom lip and pulling him into another kiss, his hand still resting on his neck. "Next time. Maybe."

He backs off and watches as Jon pulls back with somewhat of a whine (which Jon will never admit to). "Just try your best to get Demetri to agree to this. It wouldn't be a decent orgy without at least four people."

When Jon leaves later, he manages to feel even more confused than when he entered, if that were even possible.

*

Well sure enough, Demetri does agree.

And sure enough, Jon fucks him.

Demetri straddles Jon's hips and sinks down on his cock, his eyes dark and his lips parted as he makes a little sound, his lips twitching the slightest bit.

Jon is holding onto him the best he can, trying to make this easy. But the look that Demetri's giving him is an amused one as he rolls his hips and lets a moan fall from his lips.

Jon smirks. "You fucker, you have done this before."

"You don't know how long this whole innocent act has been working for me."

Jon would smile, but Demetri pushes down hard and all he gets out is a strangled moan before he thrusts up, fast and smooth. His back arches and he panting, the sound of it echoing against the walls of Demetri's partly empty apartment. Demetri himself is almost completely silent, his head dropped back and his mouth open, concentrating on the feeling of everything.

The only thing he thinks when he comes is that Paul is going to fucking kill him.


*


"You're fucked, you know that?"

Okay, so he isn't dead. He's very much alive, in fact (not really), nudging Paul's legs open wider with his forehead and his tongue swirling along the soft skin of the inside of Paul's thighs. He sighs into the familiarity, but it isn't just that, and that's what makes this harder.

Paul continues, and Jon wants to shut him the fuck up already.

"This would be ideal if this were a gift for you, you know," he says through a shit-eating grin, and Jon's chin grazes along the head of Paul's cock, but it isn't enough. "But I'm just trying to keep my fucking best friend happy. I'm trying to do this for him, and you keep fucking up."

"You've fucked everything up, you know?"

Jon says nothing, just takes Paul in, his lips stretching and he gets halfway and comes up, breathing noisily through his nose, trying to tune Paul out. It's worked before. It doesn't this time.

"I love you, Jon, you know that." (and no, Jon doesn't know that, he thinks, so fuck you very much) "But you're just like him. You want it just as much."

And yeah, this is completely fucked. Jon wants to inform Paul that this was his idea in the fucking first place, but Paul juts his hips forward and Jon has to shift so he doesn't choke (that bastard).

Jon wraps his hand around the base of Paul's dick, slurping unceremoniously as he bobs his head up and down, fast and slick because of the sweat and saliva, and Paul stutters and falters a bit, his hands shaking as they move through Jon's hair.

"I bet you're going to fuck Ed, too. No, I know it," he says, smiling than gasping, because Jon's other hand his moving up his stomach and down his sides, slipping underneath his legs and a finger running down the crack of his ass, not pushing in entirely but applying the slightest amount of pressure there. "Fuck him hard for me, okay? Make his fucking eyes roll into the back of his head."

Jon inserts one finger inside Paul, and then another before he can get used to it, and Paul stutters out a gasp that ends in a groan, and Jon takes him all the way in so he can reach between his own legs and tug at his cock.

"No," Paul says firmly, and fuck if Jon is going to stop now. Paul grabs at the back of his neck and pulls him off his cock, nudging the side of his face with his knee. "Come here."

At first, Jon isn't quite sure what Paul is getting at, and it's irritating because he fucking wants to get them both off but then Paul reaches forward and clutches onto the back of Jon's thigh, pulling his legs forward so that his cock is (fucking hard) in front of him, and he licks from base to tip, rolling his hips forward so that Jon takes the hint and does the same to him.

Jon hums low around Paul's cock, who's moving faster than he is and because Jesus, this is something that is less than expected. He's caught by so much surprise when Paul's cock twitches against the inside of his cheeks and he comes, that he pulls back and spits onto the mattress and the second spurt hits the side of his face, running down his neck and he moves his hips fast, fucking Paul's mouth with a force that he hadn't intended, and he lets out a loud moan when his orgasm hits him, with Paul shifting angles and taking it all.

"Two down, one more to go," Paul whispers in his ear later, fingers clenching around Jon's soft cock (he moans anyway, because by now, it's kind of like a reflex) "And then this is over."

The pathetic, scary, sad thing is, Jon doesn't want it to be.


*


Jon knows that this isn't going to be a happy ending. (It's a gift, Paul had told him, his fingers scissoring and making Jon cry out. You and your boyfriend get fucked, he continues. And you get fucked good.)

This is insane.

Jon also knows that Ed is eager to please. He's known that since he hired him. He knows that Ed likes to get fucked. Hard. He knows that Ed will take it. And fuck, he knows that he will deliver.

It's becoming too much, he thinks. It's dark, and it's cold, and the motherfucking windows are open. The curtains are curling against the marble of the windowsill, fluttering like some omen. Jon can feel the cold air painting over his hot skin, razor-sharp. He pulls out, slams in. Ed's moans hit the walls and double back, and it's not long now.

Ed stutters, something about going faster, and fuck, Jon is only human and there's only so much he can take. But he obeys, bracing himself on Ed's shoulders and pitches forward and back, the headboard hitting the wall, repeating, in some fucked-up symphony.

He doesn't want this to continue.

"Holy fuck," Ed moans, his head falling forwards, his cheek pressed against the warm pillowcase. He buries his face in it, muffling his sounds, and Jon silently thanks God, because he doesn't want Ed to hear all of the loathing dripping from his pores.

Ed comes with a yell that Jon barely hears, coming in hitched breaths and sobs. Jon continues fucking him as hard as he knows how, holding his hips up and fisting one hand into his hair. He sees stars and Stephen, and falls forward, gasping and crying, sweat falling down his face in place of tears.

"That's definitely an enthusiastic yes from me," Ed says afterward, and Jon can't do it, not anymore.

"No," he says, thinking of wrath and hell and Stephen's voice. "No."

He can't do this.


*

Jon tells Stephen. And then, it's over.

The next few days go slow. Too slow. unbearably slow, and Jon can't even look at Stephen anymore. Stephen knows. Stephen's always known, he thinks. And Paul's eyes shoot through him like knives, and he can't believe that this is what it's like to be truly defeated.

Stephen looks at him, and his eyes grow dark, and Paul is right there, and holy fuck.

And later, in darkness (it's cold, Stephen thinks. Happy fucking birthday) it's not okay, but it's better, Paul pushing into him like he means it and like it'll matter again.

"Next time you want to get me a gift, give me a tie," he says, spreading his legs wider, and Paul grips his hips, leaving finger marks. "A lavender one. With stripes or some shit."

"It's better like this," Paul whispers, quiet, like a secret.

It's not that he dislikes Jon. It really isn't.

It's just that he gets in the goddamn way of things.


*
You always knew what you were in for.
*


END.

 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Fall out boy again.
 
 
 
contrabrevitywacky_iraqi on December 30th, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
Woah. That is so much sex my eyes are boggling...!

Either way, nice to read and well-written - I think I'm developing a little fetish for Jon/Paul fiction now XD
let's write stories together.: tds; a switch of rolesargyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
Ha, seriously. I actually didn't notice just how much sex there was until I actually read it over just now. But oh well. PORN.

Jon/Paul is so deliciously screwed up, I just love them. I'm glad that you liked this and commented, too!
are you lookin' to get stabbed?: Lemme see ya grillmutantjules on December 30th, 2006 04:01 am (UTC)
Oh. My god.

I've never read anything quite like this before, man, you are fucking AWESOME. Crazy, holy shit. No words. Just...whoa.
let's write stories together.: stephen; all the white men!argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:36 am (UTC)
Hee! Thanks, I'm glad that you liked it. :)
oh_sabishisa on December 30th, 2006 04:16 am (UTC)
It's just that he gets in the goddamn way of things.

The Ed section is to die for.
This whole piece... resonates something tragic and depraved and the sudden change of heart (seriously, when you're faced with a reflection of what a horrible and erotic/sick, sick fuck you are, it'd make you have a volta too) - well, it's not that sudden... but well structured, well-timed and is just amazing and... well, Paul! PAUL! I love your ArrogantTurbodouche!Paul way too much and Tormented!Jon and Implied!Stephen together.
This is the caliber of work I've come to expect from you. And you deliver, dammit! Every time.

Okay. Done with eloquence.
dfhl;dsahgd;slhgasd;lh!1!!!!one!1!!!

* dies *
let's write stories together.: tds; stephen/ed <3argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:39 am (UTC)
I swear, if I ever meet Paul Dinello, I am going to apologize to him so hard for making him such an asshat in my fics. And uh. I guess I just like making everyone suffer. FUN!

Also, this comment made me kind of jump around in my seat a bit because ldkfjlasdf wow. I don't think I've ever had such lovely feedback. Thank you. ♥

PS: I MUST FRIEND YOU, OKAY? :D?
(no subject) - oh_sabishisa on December 30th, 2006 07:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Son cherie Leanne: Jon/Paul: Tru lovelashia69 on December 30th, 2006 04:23 am (UTC)
Apparently, I have a thing for Paul being a smug, manipulative bastard.

Hahaha, I read that and the biggest grin spread across my face XD

"Just remember that if you fuck him before you give him to Stephen, it's kind of like re-gifting. Which is rude."

Hahahahahahahaha, I love that entire fourth part. The story was way moody, but it was good nonetheless! And it gives me a reason to use this icon ;P
let's write stories together.: swc: christmas tree beating sexargyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
WELL, IT'S TRUE FACTS, I guess. I mean, I don't know where I kind of got that from but it's like, the only way I can write him now. Whatev. I'm glad that you liked it and KAJL;JASDF THAT ICON.
(no subject) - lashia69 on December 30th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - jordfallsmotet on December 30th, 2006 08:06 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lashia69 on December 30th, 2006 08:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
Jimmy Petstore: tcr | chuck would be jealoussnoopypez on December 30th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
WHY MUST YOU TEMPT ME WITH THIS EVIL? D:

Also, in my cheating and reading the comments, I see that apparently this is all sad and shit. XP Who must I screw to get some happy??

Ahem. Clearly, I'll end up reading this soon.
let's write stories together.: vm; team piz!argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:44 am (UTC)
I WILL HAVE YOU RPSING YOUR HEART OUT SOON ENOUGH, JUST YOU WAIT!

And yeah, it's actually quite dark. And I can write happy things, I swear it, just not with these people. Because I feel the need to torment them 24/7. I don't even have to beat them or stick them in cages!

I look forward to your comments, then!
(no subject) - snoopypez on December 30th, 2006 06:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - effetely on December 30th, 2006 07:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
We're just strangers who know each other very well: jon & stephengabsy on December 30th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
You keep killing me.

At one point, I'm not going to survive your fics anymore.
let's write stories together.: tcr; saving stephen's stuffargyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
let's write stories together.: tds; my favorite correspondentargyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:49 am (UTC)
HELEEENNNNNNNNN thank you. I'M SORRY THAT I HURT YOU AND TOOK YOUR CAPITALS. BUT UH. PORN? ♥
(Deleted comment)
cobrasnaps: lewis - BRAIN EXPLODEYcobrasnaps on December 30th, 2006 04:33 am (UTC)
alksjdfla;ksjdf;alskjals;fjla ;wlsd fjal jw[efsd

mmk. this is why I love you and why I wish I was your wife but ALAS! you is married. D: -cry-

can we be sisters though? :3

anyways like, yeah, zomg, so this was the shit. THE shit. this was the greatest thing ever. aside from the mindfuckery of the sex and how MINDBLOWINGLYGOODITIS, you utilized it in the worst possible way, showing in the progress of this lovely story how fucked up Stephen and Jon are and how much of a fucker Paul really is-- AND I LOVE IT. PAUL IS SUCH A SEXY ASSHOLE, AN ASSHOLE WE ALL WANT TO LICK. omgggg.

Paul wins. Stephen wins. JON WINS. THIS ALL WINS!

And yeah, Jon/Everyone is hot. This is hot. I love it. It's banging. omg.

And now for some coherence:

I love you and this fic and you rule at life.

WIN!!!!!!!!!!11111111ELVENTY!11onE!!1lksdfEIN!ljlkadsf!111!11!!UNO!11

Yes.
let's write stories together.: tds; high five!argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:52 am (UTC)
♥♥♥♥♥♥ OF COURSE YOU CAN BE MY SISTER.

Uh. I have nothing to say to your comment other than thank you and YOU ARE THE BEST and omg hi Lewis.

Jon/Everyone should be the new OTP of everyone in the fandom. Especially if it takes away his self respect and turns him into a wibbling ball of angst.

AND YOU KNOW, HOT PORN. I don't know.

(no subject) - cobrasnaps on December 30th, 2006 07:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
people are strange when you're a stranger: Blurry Mattbitter_stranger on December 30th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC)
Oh how I love asshole Paul and Jon the reluctant slut, but your rigoddamndiculously in-character Ed essentially renders me retarded.

Nice work, kiddo.
let's write stories together.: tds; high five!argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:56 am (UTC)
This entire comment just kind of A++'s me for reasons unknown, so I'm just going to say thank you and give you my heart. ♥
(no subject) - bitter_stranger on December 30th, 2006 06:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
oh my god, hannity's a bottom: You gotta want it!falsifiability on December 30th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
Cha. I don't even know what to write for this. The ending threw me for a loop after all the hot sex, even though it builds up to it perfectly, and really, writing the orgy would have made the whole thing so much longer though god DAMN I would love to read it.

I think what I'm failing at saying it, this is freaking HOT.

"Stephen says that you're like this," he says, his voice hard, and Jon gives a little gulp and makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a whimper. "You fight it off at first, but then you give up. And then you beg for it," he concludes this thought by biting the skin on Jon's neck, eliciting a yelp.

Gah. I kind of want to quote the whole thing. "ArrogantTurbodouche!Paul" (bwaha!) is darkly fantastic, and poor depraved Jon.
oh_sabishisa on December 30th, 2006 05:30 am (UTC)
I WILL DEFEND MY ARROGANTTURBODOUCHE!PAUL UNTIL THE END.

... and actually get off my ass and write something
with him. If I can only get a setting down...
(no subject) - argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - oh_sabishisa on December 30th, 2006 04:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - falsifiability on December 30th, 2006 05:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 05:58 am (UTC) (Expand)
melody360 on December 30th, 2006 06:22 am (UTC)
"Just remember that if you fuck him before you give him to Stephen, it's kind of like re-gifting. Which is rude."

OMG I almost woke up the house laughing at that.

Arrogant!Paul = ♥

I love darker fics.
let's write stories together.: tds: pitchargyletheme on December 30th, 2006 07:55 pm (UTC)
XD

Thank you for reading and commenting! <3
Rachel: tds; right-hand man.effetely on December 30th, 2006 08:56 am (UTC)
I will write you a real comment when I regain consciousness.
AMScosmicdancer on December 30th, 2006 03:34 pm (UTC)
ksmgf;lskdmf;lkgsmdfg Pardon me while I peel myself off my desk chair.

My day is already off to a great start. I love how you illustrated their personalities through sex. I love how Paul and Jon talk while they're fucking. I love the "Why do you think I hired them?" exchange a lot. And I love how I need a cold shower right now.

Well done, m'dear. Well done.
let's write stories together.: mcr; :3argyletheme on December 30th, 2006 07:52 pm (UTC)
CONSIDER IT A BIRTHDAY GIFT. Thank you for reading. ♥
(no subject) - cosmicdancer on December 30th, 2006 07:54 pm (UTC) (Expand)
AMScosmicdancer on December 30th, 2006 03:34 pm (UTC)
PS HATESEX OMG. ♥
we live rent-free on loyalist land: strange | spintwentyfivepast on December 30th, 2006 05:12 pm (UTC)
Hi so I'm kind of late to the party, but this is so amazing and fucked up and Paul oh my God and. I love everyone, and it's so fucked up and angsty and manipulative and man I love it.
thimpressionist on December 30th, 2006 09:16 pm (UTC)
oh wow! That ending just about killed me; do not fuck with your Paul! I love this; Paul sets him up but Jon does it all so willingly. I'm going to go read that again
Luce: Andy is my other other TV boyfriendlucia_tanaka on December 30th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
...

Damn, and I was rooting for Paul.

*would totally replace Jon as Paul's whore, seriously, has no problems with that, 'cause omg*
Geena: tomsunsetsinthewes on December 30th, 2006 09:47 pm (UTC)
My god, you are a mastermind.

I love Paul and his deviance, and I actually love Ed. Plus, hey, lots of sex is always good! Well, for me, not Jon...

Anyway, this is great. I love it.
mackem: Frenchmackem on December 30th, 2006 10:59 pm (UTC)
How do you manage to get even more fucking awesome...that would be a question, were that my "question mark" button not fucked. But it is in spirit a question! If a rhetorical one. Jesus, shut Up, Vicky. (the "p" is fucked too, and the end bracket.

This comment sucks already.

You made paul evil! Jesus. But he's so NICE normally! You took his shy little smile, or his scary BIG smile, and made him EVIL. I read this last night and was far too incoherent to comment then, but this whole idea has been on my mind all day. And, if I may, I think you wrote this fic particularly well. It had the possibility of getting repetitive, but you avoided it magnificently and kept it fresh (that sounds disgusting, and the close bracket is STILL broken.

To conclude, minus a colon key apparently, didn't know about that one ~ you took porn and led it effortlessly and naturally to angst. I marvel at you.
Lauren or Lou, as you like.: dancingblindswandive on January 3rd, 2007 04:20 am (UTC)
I am in love with this comment. Your poor keyboard. . .
Exaal: Dinello Faggyzeonchar on December 31st, 2006 12:25 am (UTC)
I actually felt sorry for Jon in this one, wow! Paul was such a cunning bastard! I could actually see him planning the whole thing out! Wow...
Exaal: Colbert Want Itzeonchar on December 31st, 2006 12:26 am (UTC)
"Jesus, is there anyone on your cast that isn't fucking?"

"Why do you think I hired them?"

Paul stared. Jon raised an eyebrow.

"Oh."


I loved this part! Bwahah!
Exaal: Colbert WOOO!zeonchar on December 31st, 2006 12:31 am (UTC)
Oh yeah,I forgot to mention, seeing the orgy in action would have been SO hot!
lightning rod for criticism: colbert: curse god and die!annakovsky on December 31st, 2006 10:35 pm (UTC)
Omg, this is so dark and effed up, AMAZING.
Lauren or Lou, as you like.: Bondageblindswandive on January 3rd, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
Oh my. I am in shock. I've been sitting here jawing for like 3 minutes now, waiting for the typing skills to return.

So, so fucked up.

So, so, so hot.

This was brilliantly done, and I'm without proper words. I am lustful for and sympathetically horrified for your Jon characterization, in this. It was like a sexy train wreck.

Wow.

So, um, thank you. So much. Despite the addled brain I'm now left with.
mira_8mira_8 on January 8th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
amazing. amazing. I don't know what else to say. YOW.
debby k.: draw the blinds!fluffycupcake on July 1st, 2007 08:56 am (UTC)
oooh, this is filthy!

ps: i am a new fan of your works.